The year was 1992 and I was 25 years old. (And YES, that is my actual hair color. Wasn’t it dark?) I was still wet behind the ears and on fire for God; more zealous than wise, but so eager to learn. I had gone to a Twila Paris concert with one of my friends and after arriving late, we ended up in the narthex of the church with two men who were recruiting for an organization called YWAM – which stands for Youth With A Mission. I was so enthralled with the life of a missionary that I forfeited the rest of the concert so I could listen to the two men share their testimonies about their lives and all the wonderful things God had done for them.
Well, long story short, I ended up going into YWAM in 1994 so that I could take a Discipleship Training School, DTS, for six months. The class was split into two sections, each 3 months long. The classroom phase was three months long and we learned about various topics that ranged from prayer to scripture memorization. The class focused on ways to help us grow in our relationship with God.
The second phase of the school was the outreach portion, where we became the hands and feet of Jesus. Part of the time we were in the United States and the rest of the time we were in Belarus. We ministered in churches, hospitals, orphanages, foreign schools and homeless shelters, coffee houses, and on the streets in Alabama. We listened to people share their hurts and we helped reach out to them to meet some of their needs.
I can honestly say that taking the DTS changed my life. I made friends that I still have to this day and I absolutely loved that people of all denominations could come together to learn more about who God is and then turn around and teach others what they had learned. YWAM calls it, “To know God and make Him known.”
Out of all the wonderful topics, we covered while in class the one that turned my life upside down was called, The Father Heart of God. We looked at the relationship between God, the Father and God, the Son. Jesus called the Father, ABBA, Daddy. Their relationship was so pure and safe and Jesus was so secure in that love that He could walk through extremely stressful situations untouched.
I have a wonderful step-father who I called Daddy; I always have called him that and even to this day when I talk about my dad, I am talking about him. But, at that point in my life, my identity, my last name even, was based on a relationship that had rejection and abandonment at the very root. That was all that I knew of a father. On the day this topic was covered, I sat sobbing during most of the lesson. The teacher approached me and said, “Kim, God has been grossly misrepresented as a Father to this generation. Will you be one who will go and set the record straight?” Well, what are you supposed to say to that? Umm, NO! Ha! Of course, I would; but knowing that you can not give away what you do not have, I went in search of everything I could find on the Father heart of God.
I stumbled upon a man named Jack Frost (yes, for real) and he became one of my spiritual fathers. I went to every conference he taught, read every book he had written, and bought every tape set he made. And years after my journey into Father’s heart began, I can say now with FULL ASSURANCE that I have been healed from that ugly root of rejection. God is my big-D Daddy. He is the only one Who won’t leave me. He watches over me with a very protective eye. I belong in His family now and it is wonderful!
Through this journey I have even been able to forgive my biological father, knowing that he did the best job that he could. While I can not say that we have reconciled, I am at peace and pray nothing but Papa’s unending goodness over his life.
If this is a topic that you would like to have more information about, please let me know. It is very near and dear to my heart but this barely, and I mean B.A.R.E.L.Y. scratches the surface.
The best way to get to know your Big D-Daddy is by taking the time each day to BeLoved Completely. He thinks you are incredible and He loves you with an everlasting love. Come into His presence and let Him tell you how wonderful you truly are.
With love, Kim
p.s. You may want to print this journal entry and use it as you reflect on your own experience with The Father Heart of God.